The Serenity Prayer In the “Serenity Prayer,” theologian Reinhold Niebuhr asks for the serenity to accept what cannot be changed. [1] Many of us have a hard time with such acceptance. When we feel powerless, we often struggle to regain our footing, hoping to set things right, at least by our definition of “right.” In my work as a hospital chaplain, for instance, I often meet with people whose bodies are falling apart. All the interventions at the medical team’s disposal cannot stop the disintegration of their lives. Patients and family feel angry, sad, and afraid. Sometimes, they lash out at staff, blaming doctors for their illness or chastising nurses…
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Coping with Craving and Desire
The Desires of Andvari The Norse myth about the dwarf Andvari tells of craving, lust, foolishness, and death. As retold by Liz Greene and Juliet Sharman-Burke, [1] Andvari is walking along the river one day when he sees the reflection of gold among the rocky riverbed and falls in love with the glittering metal. But the gold is guarded by the daughters of the river god, Father Rhein. Like the Sirens of Greek mythology, these young nymphs lure men with their unattainable beauty. Seeing them, Andvari longs for them with a deep and relentless longing. He calls to them desperately, rushing toward them with open arms. Laughing, the maidens drift…
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Finding Our Purpose in Life
A Special Purpose In my role as chaplain, I meet with patients who have survived one health crisis after another. Some have lived through accidents or overdoses. They sometimes tell me they think God kept them alive for a reason, that they have something special left to do. They just need to figure out what it is. In the Bible, God is quite specific when he has a mission for one of the patriarchs. He gave Noah exact instructions about the ark, told Abraham where to go and why, and spoke to Moses throughout his ministry. Today, God seems much more obscure. Hearing A Call My own call to ministry…
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The Power of Play in Recovery
Learning to Play My mother, though kind, generous, and loving, never learned to play childhood games. Born an only child to two earnest and serious parents who believed they should treat her like a little adult, the fun my mother enjoyed was mature and staid. Thus, I tried to be a little adult, as well. To please my mother, I learned at an early age to play bridge and enjoy symphonies. Therefore, I am grateful for my father, for although he sometimes embarrassed me with his silly antics and corny jokes, at least he taught me not to take myself too seriously. He taught me how to play. Not that…
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Moments of Change and Transformation
When Our World Turns Upside Down When I was twelve, my grandfather died suddenly, effectively leaving me without a father figure. One morning, I’d gone to school, and everything was normal. In the afternoon, when I got home, everything had changed. My world turned upside down, and I spent years empty, angry, scared, and lonely. I needed a poddley, a magical creature who helps children feel better. Most of us experience devastating change at least once in our lives. In an instant, a tragedy tears our world apart and leaves us wondering how we can go on. Whether we’re demolishing a building, ruining a relationship, detonating a bomb, starting a war,…
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The Patience of Recovery
The Patience of Creation Creation takes patience. Whether you’re forming a universe, writing a story, choreographing a dance, baking a souffle, or building a life, creation takes time. They say that God made everything we can see, smell, and touch – and much that we can’t – in six days, but He was a master, and we cannot compete. We can’t build a house in six days, nor can we grow a baby that fast, and it takes a lifetime to mature into our true selves, if we ever do. Becoming who we really are takes a lot of patience. To make it even harder, when we think have our…
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Finding a Spiritual Practice that Is Right for Us
A Contemplative Spirituality When I was a child, I wanted to be a nun. Since I was a Unitarian Universalist, this didn’t seem likely. Still, I loved the idea of sitting all day and contemplating. Not that that’s what I did all the time. I ran, climbed, splashed, sang, played kick ball, and bicycled through the neighborhood. But I also daydreamed, or gazed at the brook, or listened to the sounds trees made, or read fairy tales, or wrote poetry. Not a bad life, and I wanted that part my childhood to continue, so I imagined myself cloistered away someplace beautiful, with echoing rooms, mystical stained glass windows, a stream…
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Fathers and Sun Gods
Father Sun Gods Many of the world’s religions worship Father Sun Gods. There’s the Egyptian god Ra who ruled the sky, earth, and underworld. After creating life, he spread warmth and light everywhere and helped things grow. Surya, the Hindu sun god, provided healing and comfort to his people. The Aztecs, however, had Tonatiuh, a cruel god who demanded sacrifices. These gods represent different kinds of fatherhood, whether neutral, cruel, or kind. Apollo, the Greek sun god, revealed yet another type of father, for he was absent. Apollo fathered a child with the nymph Clymene, then he returned to his palace and focused on his work. His son, Phaeton, knew him only…
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Self-Acceptance, Shame, Samson, and Grace
The Importance of Self-Acceptance Today we will discuss look at the importance of self-acceptance, for us as individuals and as a society. By self-acceptance, I mean not just that we like and are comfortable with ourselves, but that the self we accept be as close as possible to who we really are. Until we understand our true nature, we cannot be healthy, generous, or free. We cannot love or respect what we do not understand. Understanding ourselves has benefits beyond our own satisfaction, however, When we see and accept our own true self, we learn also to see, accept, love, and respect others. Thus self-acceptance is important for our communities.…
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Being Honest with Ourselves
Ways We Delude Ourselves None of us is completely honest with ourselves. In the same way that we can’t hear what our voice sounds like outside our own head, we can’t fully see our inner being. Our amazing brains reveal only what we’re ready to see, explain away anything that threatens our sense of self, and rationalize inconsistent behaviors. Let’s look at an obvious example of this. While at the hospital the other day, I had the honor of visiting with a woman I’ve known for a year now, ever since I was paged to the emergency room to support her family. They’d been told that in a few hours,…
