• Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    This Moment Is Not Preparation

    This Moment Could Be Your Last In his treatise on Zen Buddhism, Shunryu Suzuki wrote, “Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else.” [1] On the surface, his meaning seems simple. Make each moment count. Live not for a dream or hope of some future goal, but for what life brings you in the here and now. Life is not a series of goals. It is a journey, and mindfulness is the tool we use to fully experience that journey. This is especially important because we never know when our journey will end. We can die at any time. When I was three, I announced…

  • Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    Peter Walks on Water

    Walking on Water The story of Peter’s attempt to defy gravity is told in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 14. Jesus had just finished feeding five thousand people with loaves and fishes. He wanted some time by himself. So he sent the disciples ahead of him in a boat, and he spent the night praying. For the disciples, it was a long night. By evening, waves were battering the boat. The wind buffeted the craft, keeping the men from reaching shore. When morning dawned, they were worn out from rowing and shaken by the turbulence of the sea. In that vulnerable state, with the sky still gray, and the water…

  • Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    The Journey of Forgiveness

    Revenge as a Gift of Evolution It’s all about the stories we tell. After we have been attacked or abused, betrayed or exploited, we can keep our anger alive by rehearsing the offense. We might not be able to control our initial burst of emotion, but we can choose to feed it. By proclaiming our innocence and condemning the other person, we can cling to our resentment for a long time. We can successfully keep forgiveness at bay. While it’s probably better for us physiologically to soothe our anger, there are times we might want to hold onto it. If we’re trying to get away from an abusive relationship, for…

  • Reflections on Holidays

    Advent, Waiting, and Experiencing Life

    Waiting for Advent and Beyond Advent, that month before Christmas comes, is about waiting. Mary and Joseph waited for Jesus to be born. Today, many of us wait for Christmas. Throughout the season and beyond, faithful Christians wait for the Messiah. This is not a bored or frustrated waiting, at least not for those who celebrate the holiday and revel in the coziness and closeness it symbolizes. Yet, this is not everyone’s religious story. Even if we do claim it as our own, the day can be filled with memories of loss or abandonment. Still, we can love the music, love the Christ, love the hearth. Then the waiting of…

  • Recovery Skills

    The Blessings and Pain of Boredom

    We all get bored at one time or another. It's nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it mean we're lazy or dull. Learn to tolerate boredom. Manage the emotions that arise when we're bored. Be interested in your experience, observe the emotions, then let them go. As one experience arises and fades away, another will take its place, life will go on, and you might find you don't need to bungee jump or smoke pot or fly to the moon to escape boredom. Just being alive will be enough.

  • Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    Reconciliation: A Spiritual Resolution

    General Resolutions As New Year’s Eve approaches, resolutions are on many people’s minds. According to a 2015 Nielsen study, the most popular New Year’s resolutions are staying fit and losing weight. Close seconds are “enjoying life to the fullest” and saving money. Then comes spending more time with friends and family and getting organized. These changes are great ways to make ourselves feel better by enlivening us physically and mentally, helping us feel secure in the world; and increasing our productivity. Spending time with loved ones is always good, assuming those relationships are healthy and supportive or are at least open to improvement. Of course, we don’t need to wait…

  • Recovery Skills

    Coping with Craving and Desire

    The Desires of Andvari The Norse myth about the dwarf Andvari tells of craving, lust, foolishness, and death. As retold by Liz Greene and Juliet Sharman-Burke, [1] Andvari is walking along the river one day when he sees the reflection of gold among the rocky riverbed and falls in love with the glittering metal. But the gold is guarded by the daughters of the river god, Father Rhein. Like the Sirens of Greek mythology, these young nymphs lure men with their unattainable beauty. Seeing them, Andvari longs for them with a deep and relentless longing. He calls to them desperately, rushing toward them with open arms. Laughing, the maidens drift…

  • Recovery Skills

    On Resilience and Teapots

    Becoming Resilient As the Psychology Today website (1) puts it, when challenged by tragedy and trauma, resilient people “rise from the ashes.” They re-engage in life, learn from their mistakes, maintain optimism, and bounce back to try even harder next time. If you’re resilient, you’re less likely to try to escape with drugs, food, gambling, or overwork because you won’t feel as lonely, uncomfortable, or ashamed. Now that science has discovered the trait of resilience, everyone’s talking about it. We admire people who overcome horrible childhoods to become successful and happy. We’d love to have more capacity to cope effectively with stress, to bounce back, feel optimistic, and keep going…