Nothing Left But Prayer This week at the recovery church meeting, we will talk about prayer. The timing seems right. As the United States reels from the effects of the pandemic, from forest fires and hurricanes, from a relentless cultural divide, and now, the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg from cancer, it seems as if all we have left to do is pray. It’s not just world events that leave us seeking comfort in ritual and supplication. When turbulence gets so bad it threatens the plane in which we ride, for instance, or medical interventions fail and we find ourselves perched at the edge of the afterlife, we can feel…
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Listening to Ourselves
Starting Where We Are At the Universalist Recovery Church, we’ve been exploring different aspects of listening. For instance, when we listen deeply to one another, we provide each other a gift. We see, and we are seen; hear and are heard. That, by itself, can be healing. Listening to ourselves can be just as healing. But many people find it easier to listen to the stories, fears, and hopes of others than to pay attention to their own. When we hear what’s going on inside us, we can feel embarrassed or afraid. How, then, do we listen to ourselves without flinching? Where do we begin? According to the Buddhist teacher,…
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With Prayer, What Matters Is that We Start
Every once in a while, I meet with a patient who wants to know how to pray. The short answer is that there is no right way. You can find instructions, of course, but you can also find instructions that defy those instructions, so in the end, you just have to do what feels best to you. That isn't where I start with people, though. First, I have to figure out why they're asking the question.
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Joy that Saves
The Saving Nature of Joy Joy can save the world. If we were all joyful, there’d be no hatred, violence, incarceration, collusion, greed, or addiction. We’d all be peaceful, kind, and compassionate. Think about it. When you’ve felt on top of the world, could you have hurt another person? I don’t think so. Most people, when they’re happy or joyful, feel generous, understanding, supportive, and forgiving. Certainly, our moods can change. If we feel threatened, we can instantly become angry or fearful. We could lash out. In the moment of joy, however, we love everyone. That may be because joy helps us feel connected to one another and to the…
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On Resilience and Teapots
Becoming Resilient As the Psychology Today website (1) puts it, when challenged by tragedy and trauma, resilient people “rise from the ashes.” They re-engage in life, learn from their mistakes, maintain optimism, and bounce back to try even harder next time. If you’re resilient, you’re less likely to try to escape with drugs, food, gambling, or overwork because you won’t feel as lonely, uncomfortable, or ashamed. Now that science has discovered the trait of resilience, everyone’s talking about it. We admire people who overcome horrible childhoods to become successful and happy. We’d love to have more capacity to cope effectively with stress, to bounce back, feel optimistic, and keep going…
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Filling that God-Shaped Hole
Sometimes, in quiet moments, when my body is still and I am not distracted by busyness or plans, I notice a tension in my gut, a soft anxiety. Years ago, I would sometimes experience anxiety like a jack-hammer in my solar plexus, a fear that spread to my hands and made it hard to breathe. Fortunately, I no longer get that intolerable dread, but I am not a stranger to a little anxiety here and there. Especially when I meditate, I can get this squirmy feeling, like everything inside me itches, and I want to jump up and get busy doing something, anything, even cleaning the refrigerator. Yet if I…