The Power of Prayer Why do we pray? As a chaplain, I’ve observed that people pray for many reasons. Some seem to think prayer will protect them, or get them right with God, or solve their problems. Others pray as if out of habit. Then there are those for whom prayer seems to be sacred, a moment of true connection with something bigger, larger, grander than our own essence. Still others appear to experience grace and affection when they pray. Most of us pray for all these reasons at one time or another. For most of my life, I didn’t pray. I never thought of it, really, not even when…
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Trusting in the Process
Losing to Win Sometimes you’ve got to lose before you win. At least, that seems to be Sam Hinkie’s belief. Between 2013 and 2016, he was the manager of the 76ers, a basketball team from Philadelphia. During that time, he came up with the phrase “trust the process” to encourage patience in those who doubted his strategy. In an article about Hinkie, Jason Wolf quoted him as saying you have to “start with an end in mind.” [1] That’s what he was doing with the 76ers. During their yearly draft, the National Basketball Association rewards losing teams with first choice from among the incoming college recruits. To exploit that tradition,…
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The Benefits of Laughing at Ourselves
Of Storms and Presidents Farce in the White House is nothing new these days, but we may have hit a new low. Does our president have such a tender ego that he can’t abide being wrong even about the weather? As you may have heard, he predicted that the hurricane, Dorian, would strike Alabama. Now he’s furious because the weather service in that area pointed out he was wrong. It didn’t even rain there. [1] Yet our president will never admit he made a mistake, not even a petty one, so he’s mad. Is he fuming at the storm itself, cursing God for not making it rain where he wanted…
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Land Iguanas and the Illusion of Control
Land Iguanas and the Prickly-Pear Land iguanas on the Galapagos Islands eat centipedes and carrion, but they prefer prickly-pear fruit. Unlike their marine cousins, they can’t climb the cactus, so they stand beneath the sprawling limbs and gaze up at the pears, waiting for one to ripen and fall to the ground. This can take hours or days, yet through it all, the creature waits. [1] I first learned about this startling reptile from one of our URC members who shared his experience of seeing them sit unmoving for days at a time. From reading about the reptiles, I learned that the creatures take breaks to catch insects and copulate,…
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Sex, Money, and Happiness
Money Isn’t Everything, But It Helps Before I read about the crow, I thought I would make a simple statement about the connection between sex, money, and happiness. It seemed reasonable to open this column with the platitude: if we seek happiness in that which is impermanent, we will end up unhappy, for that is what I have to say. Yet the crow shifted my understanding a little bit. For instance, although a happiness that depends on human relationships or financial security is precarious, for those of us living in the United States during the early part of the twenty-first century, the sentiment ignores certain realities of living in a…
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Pride and Humility
The Danger of Pride The Bible has a lot to say about the dangers of pride and the importance of humility. Chapter 23 of Matthew, for instance, includes the often quoted sentence, “All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted” (23:12). In Proverbs, we read, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov 16:18). James 4:6 states, “Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’” But is pride always bad? The other day, I was talking with a young man who insisted pride could be a good thing. Because of pride, we accomplish deeds we…
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Bounty and Abundance
Appreciating What We Have Abundance surrounds us. No matter where we are, the sky covers the earth, the sun spreads its light, the rain nourishes the soil. Trees grow, insects pollinate berries and tomatoes, crops of all kinds ripen. We laugh with friends, take air into our lungs, wiggle our toes, chew our food, enjoy the tenderness of touch. When these are missing, we notice their absence, but we rarely appreciate them when they’re there. King Midas discovered this when his lust for gold overshadowed his relationship with his daughter. Not until she was gone to him, transformed into a golden statue, did he understand what really matters in life.…
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The Search for Enlightenment
Asking Questions Who wants to be enlightened? When I first thought about this topic, I assumed everyone wanted to be. After all, what else is life for? Then I realized that most people could probably care less about it. After all, most of us don’t even know what enlightenment means. I’m not sure I know. So if people don’t want enlightenment, whatever that is, what do they want? I guess that depends on the person and, perhaps, the moment. So is there no common, human desire? Maybe we all want happiness. Okay. What do I mean by happiness? Happiness and Impermanence I think happiness and enlightenment are related. The Buddhist…
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Internet, the Loss of Time, and Happiness
Before the Internet One hot August day, before the internet, before cell phones, even before land lines you didn’t have to plug into the wall, my husband and I, along with our two young boys, moved from New Hampshire back to Oregon. David drove the U-Haul; I drove the car with the children. Taking advantage of a downhill slope, David careened ahead of me, when I suddenly noticed steam sweeping up from beneath the hood of our car. Resigned, I pulled over to the side of the highway. David kept on driving, oblivious to our predicament. For a moment, I sat wondering what to do. I certainly didn’t want to…
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Happiness and Pleasure
Depression We can learn a lot about happiness from folk tales. You may know the one from Italy, “The Happy Man’s Shirt.” In it, a king’s son suffers from sadness. He lies in bed all day, stares out the window. He sighs, he won’t eat, he barely talks. Concerned, the king tries to cheer up his son with games, jokes, parties, and tournaments. It doesn’t work. “What’s the matter with you?” the king asks. “Are you in love with someone who does not love you back?” No, the boy is not in love, nor is he physically sick, though he grows thin and weak, and the king is afraid he’ll…
