High Holy Days Religions teach us about contemplation, stillness, and prayer. They remind us that some days are holy and should be set aside. During Yom Kippur, for instance, observant Jews avoid work. They fast and pray together, spending the day at their synagogue. They apologize for the sins they have committed that year and seek forgiveness. The day’s liturgy encourages inner reflection and renewal. One day at the hospital, shortly before Yom Kippur, a staff member stopped me to share a dilemma she faced. She had mixed up the calendar and forgotten to ask to have Yom Kippur off from work. Every year on this holiday, she fasted and…
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Promises We Make, Break, and Renew
The First Covenant Some scholars argue that the first covenant God made was with Adam. This was not a joint covenant, like most modern marriages in Western cultures. Before my husband and I got married, for instance, we collaborated on our vows, considering together the promises we would make. God, however, did not consult with Adam before deciding on the rules of the covenant. Instead, he decreed that Adam should till the garden and keep it, and that he — and Eve, once she was created — must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Should they do so, they would die. As the story goes,…
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Reconciliation: A Spiritual Resolution
General Resolutions As New Year’s Eve approaches, resolutions are on many people’s minds. According to a 2015 Nielsen study, the most popular New Year’s resolutions are staying fit and losing weight. Close seconds are “enjoying life to the fullest” and saving money. Then comes spending more time with friends and family and getting organized. These changes are great ways to make ourselves feel better by enlivening us physically and mentally, helping us feel secure in the world; and increasing our productivity. Spending time with loved ones is always good, assuming those relationships are healthy and supportive or are at least open to improvement. Of course, we don’t need to wait…
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Luke, Transformation, and Preparation
Preparing for New Life Her initial preparation took years. At first, she didn’t realize she was preparing for anything. All she noticed was a niggling dissatisfaction. Over time, however, that discomfort grew, forcing her into a deep introspection, invisible to those who pressed against her in the packed train during each evening’s commute, or sat beside her at meetings as they discussed the sins of poverty, or ate lunch with her, danced with her, smoked pot with her. While those around her continued their mindless distractions, she searched within her heart and spirit with a merciless resolve. In the end, she concluded there were better ways to build a life…
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The Chaos of Our Time, Listening, and Forgiveness
Chaos and the Naivete of Forgiveness Given the chaos breaking out across our nation and in the world, the rise of a hateful nationalism, and the brutal attacks on human decency and human lives that have been encouraged by our own president, it seems naive to write about listening and forgiveness. In less than a month there have been two major mass shootings; Christine Blasey Ford continues to receive death threats; our president has named Matthew Whitaker, a critic of the Mueller investigation, as “acting” Attorney General; and as he has always done, he undermines our democracy and foments crises that almost seem designed to divert our attention from important matters such as…
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All Kinds of Freedom
The Freedom of Innocence Freedom comes in many forms. For instance, there is a freedom in the innocence of a child. My one-year-old grandson has started laughing. Watching the cats play, he laughs. Noticing the adults in his life move or clap or tap their foot, he laughs. Gazing at the sky, the trees, the air itself, he laughs. When when he laughs, we laugh, too. He has discovered a new game. How joyful is this innocent freedom he radiates. He knows nothing of floods, supreme court confirmation hearings, sexual abuse, war, murder, lead in drinking water, poverty, poachers, hunger, illness, or plague. All he knows is what he sees, hears,…
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Holding Ourselves Accountable and the Importance of Feelings
Managing Our Feelings The details are fuzzy. I think we were at some kind of party, maybe a birthday for one of my son’s friends. We mothers were hanging out with the kids, chatting, watching them play. Near me stood a woman I didn’t know well. Her boy was perhaps seven years old. I have no memory of what the child did or said. Probably, I hadn’t noticed. Whatever it was, it triggered in his mother an impressive outrage. Grabbing her son by the arm, she turned to me and said, “We have to leave. He’s upset me so much, I’m just too angry to enjoy myself any longer.” Her…
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Feeling Forsaken and Being Found in Psalm 22
Psalm 22 and Feeling Forsaken Psalm 22 starts with the line Jesus famously spoke as he hung on the cross: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? (1-3) In my years as a chaplain, I have listened to many people describe how forsaken they felt, abandoned by God, alone, and afraid. Most of them blamed either God or themselves. If they felt angry at God, they often felt guilty about it. Though I never felt guilty because of it, I was angry at God for many years. Not that I blamed God for…
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Memorial Day and Healing Our Souls
Giving Away Our Wealth Jesus spoke of sacrifice. For instance, as Stephen L. Carter reminds us in his book Civility, there was the time Jesus told the rich man that to get into heaven, he would have to give away all his belongings. As one might expect, the man could not bring himself to do so. From this we learn that wealth can become an idol, distracting us from our true work which, according to Carter, is to love and serve the divine. We also learn about the importance of sacrifice. We’re encouraged to give up whatever gets in the way of union with the divine. Lest we think that, because…
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Finding Our Way to Holy Relationships
Everything Is God According to A Course in Miracles, what we see and believe about the world is an illusion. Our egos inform us that bodies and minds, concrete objects and forms, are all that exists, and that each existence is a separate self. Caught up in this illusion of a vast ocean of separateness, we feel lonely, anxious, and incomplete. Therefore, we seek out something that will fulfill us, complete us, ease our anxiety, make us whole. Born into these bodies, we have forgotten that everything is of God, that everything is God. In this state of forgetfulness, we look to someone or something outside ourselves to make things…