Psalm 22 and Feeling Forsaken Psalm 22 starts with the line Jesus famously spoke as he hung on the cross: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? (1-3) In my years as a chaplain, I have listened to many people describe how forsaken they felt, abandoned by God, alone, and afraid. Most of them blamed either God or themselves. If they felt angry at God, they often felt guilty about it. Though I never felt guilty because of it, I was angry at God for many years. Not that I blamed God for…
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Mother’s Day and Letting Go
Equanimity and Letting Go Many years ago, while working with a Buddhist spiritual director, I learned a lesson about letting go. Her son had committed suicide. When I saw her shortly afterwards, she appeared as calm and self-contained as ever. I asked how she managed to do that when her son had just died. She explained that he had struggled with depression and suicidal ideation for a long time. Sometimes, no matter what we do, people die from their diseases. It is part of life. Her main strategy for coping, however, was not so much to be philosophical about our existence, but to focus on living in the present moment.…
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Hope in the Face of Suffering
Hope in the Future What is hope? Could it be trust in a new generation, the joy we feel when we watch young animals at play, babies being born? In our yard, a family of scrub jays has nested in the holly tree. As I write, the father submerges himself in the bird bath while the mother feeds their baby seeds and insects from the garden. Watching them, I smile, thinking of beauty and life that will continue after I am gone. Or could hope be the belief in an existence after death? At the hospital, I sit with a woman who is sick and weary from cancer. She begs…
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Uncertainty, Fear, and the Dark Night of the Soul
Fear of the Future I sat in bed, leaning against the headboard, looking out the window at the full-moon glow that spread across the deck. Though the image was serene, I couldn’t feel the peace. The day’s news had depleted me, and I felt heavy with a sense of loss and helplessness. I thought about the pipeline that will be built no matter what we say or do, fouling water, defiling graves, and wounding a Native American community, yet again. I worried about the crackdown on immigration that has Hispanics and refugees afraid to leave their homes, that if enacted, will break up families, shatter lives, weaken our economy, and…