Giving Away Our Wealth Jesus spoke of sacrifice. For instance, as Stephen L. Carter reminds us in his book Civility, there was the time Jesus told the rich man that to get into heaven, he would have to give away all his belongings. As one might expect, the man could not bring himself to do so. From this we learn that wealth can become an idol, distracting us from our true work which, according to Carter, is to love and serve the divine. We also learn about the importance of sacrifice. We’re encouraged to give up whatever gets in the way of union with the divine. Lest we think that, because…
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Mother’s Day and Letting Go
Equanimity and Letting Go Many years ago, while working with a Buddhist spiritual director, I learned a lesson about letting go. Her son had committed suicide. When I saw her shortly afterwards, she appeared as calm and self-contained as ever. I asked how she managed to do that when her son had just died. She explained that he had struggled with depression and suicidal ideation for a long time. Sometimes, no matter what we do, people die from their diseases. It is part of life. Her main strategy for coping, however, was not so much to be philosophical about our existence, but to focus on living in the present moment.…
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Earth Day, Climate Change, and Telling New Stories
The Tale of Two Farmers In the Talmud is a story of two farmers who lived next to one another for years, yet who could not agree on which of them owned a plot of land adjacent to both their farms. One of the men claimed his grandparents had built their home there, so he had rights to it. The other insisted that since his grandparents had planted fig trees on that land, he should get it. Unable to resolve their disagreement, they took their case to the rabbi. The rabbi listened to them. He pulled at his beard and considered the problem. Yet, he, too, was unable to decide…
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Moments of Clarity
Our Moments of Clarity The phrase moment of clarity is common in twelve-step circles. Such a moment is when we clearly see the wreckage of our lives, and we make a decision to get clean and sober. Over the years, I’ve heard a number of moment of clarity stories. One evening, for instance, when a woman was drunk, she noticed her child looking at her with sadness, disbelief, even disgust. Suddenly she realized she wasn’t just hurting herself, she was also hurting this incredibly precious human being. Steeped in shame and humiliation, she resolved she would change. In the private space of her own heart and to whatever god she…
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Money, Money, Money
A Disease of the Heart In the 1500s, a lust for gold and silver drove the Spanish Conquistadors to feats of horror that would appall any normal human being, or at least one not caught up in the frenzy of a powerful addiction. Not unlike many for whom their drug means more than life itself, Francisco Pizarro [1] was said to be modest, gentle, and affable with his countrymen or with those who won his favor, but ruthless with any Peruvian who interfered with his passion for wealth, power, and control. [2] His compatriot and cousin, Hernándo Cortés [3] was just as obsessed. As historian Inga Clendinnentells us, he mockingly justified the theft of precious…
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Coping with Craving and Desire
The Desires of Andvari The Norse myth about the dwarf Andvari tells of craving, lust, foolishness, and death. As retold by Liz Greene and Juliet Sharman-Burke, [1] Andvari is walking along the river one day when he sees the reflection of gold among the rocky riverbed and falls in love with the glittering metal. But the gold is guarded by the daughters of the river god, Father Rhein. Like the Sirens of Greek mythology, these young nymphs lure men with their unattainable beauty. Seeing them, Andvari longs for them with a deep and relentless longing. He calls to them desperately, rushing toward them with open arms. Laughing, the maidens drift…
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Resistance Revisited
Nonviolent Resistance Nonviolent resistance has been around since Jesus stood up to the Pharisees in Jerusalem, and probably before. Today, books are written about it and workshops designed to teach it. Some scholars insist that nonviolent resistance is more effective than violent resistance; others refute this. I doubt nonviolent resistance is as magical as we like to think, yet I know of no better way to orchestrate change without betraying our own values and becoming as angry, bitter, and oppressive as the regimes we stand against. Yet how do we refrain from lashing out with weapons? Cutting Ourselves Off from Our Emotions One way is to hide our emotions and…
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Life Out of Death
The Cycle of Life In the children’s book, Fletcher and the Falling Leaves, Julie Rawlinson tells the story of Fletcher, a young fox living through his first autumn. When the leaves of his favorite tree start to lose their green sheen, Fletcher thinks the tree is sick and tries watering and feeding it. Still the leaves wither and turn brown. When they drop, Fletcher tries to reattach them to their stems. Nothing works. Finally, all the branches are bare. Despondently, Fletcher goes home. At his young age, he doesn’t understand the cycle of life and death and life. All he can see is that his beloved tree is dying, and he…
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Moments of Change and Transformation
When Our World Turns Upside Down When I was twelve, my grandfather died suddenly, effectively leaving me without a father figure. One morning, I’d gone to school, and everything was normal. In the afternoon, when I got home, everything had changed. My world turned upside down, and I spent years empty, angry, scared, and lonely. I needed a poddley, a magical creature who helps children feel better. Most of us experience devastating change at least once in our lives. In an instant, a tragedy tears our world apart and leaves us wondering how we can go on. Whether we’re demolishing a building, ruining a relationship, detonating a bomb, starting a war,…
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The Use and Abuse of Power
Trauma and Power Listening to Bessel van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score, I am struck by how we, in the medical and mental health fields, too often use power to control those we deem sick or broken or crazy. As he worked in the field, van der Kolk came to realize that much of his professional training was geared to helping him and other doctors “stay in control in the face of terrifying and confusing realities.” [1] Being out of control frightens pretty much all of us. Clinicians get scared, too. Those of us with authority are used to being respected, deferred to, obeyed. When patients resist…