Nothing Left But Prayer This week at the recovery church meeting, we will talk about prayer. The timing seems right. As the United States reels from the effects of the pandemic, from forest fires and hurricanes, from a relentless cultural divide, and now, the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg from cancer, it seems as if all we have left to do is pray. It’s not just world events that leave us seeking comfort in ritual and supplication. When turbulence gets so bad it threatens the plane in which we ride, for instance, or medical interventions fail and we find ourselves perched at the edge of the afterlife, we can feel…
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Impermanence and the New Year
Change Is Inevitable As the new year approaches, we start to think about who we are and who we want to become. In the tradition of New Year’s Eve, we may make a resolution to consciously change something significant about ourselves. Maybe we want to improve our diet or exercise regularly, or we could focus on being more generous, tolerant, or organized. None of this seems too hard. After all, change is inevitable. They say, for instance, that every seven years, all the cells in our body get replaced. This has led the infamous “they” to make claims about seven year cycles and psychological transformation. We humans manage to interpret…
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The Enneagram and the Mother Within
Mothers on Display We were at the playground, my children running, sliding, and swinging, when I noticed shouting. At the wading pool, a girl of about twelve or thirteen sat, her shoulders hunched, her feet in the water. Thin hair hung across her shoulders. Her knees bulged from her emaciated legs. Beside her, an obese woman chastised her for hanging out in a pool for babies, but whenever the girl tried to stand, the woman pushed her back down. As the woman recited a list of sins the girl had committed and told her she was stupid and worthless, the child stared silently at her feet. The bullying was horrifying.…
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Embracing Change
Our Dream of Paradise Idyllic worlds cannot sustain themselves. Though we long for them, and tell stories of Eden and of Heaven, no matter what myths we create, paradise is as impermanent as the wind. Ultimately, this is a good thing. In paradise there might be no struggle, or confusion, or pain, when we are perfect, we cannot change or grow. I suppose one perfect thing could transform into another perfect thing, but why? What drives us to evolve if not dissatisfaction and desire? That’s why Adam and Eve had to leave the garden. If they never experienced discomfort, they would have remained infantile forever. Like the story of Eden,…
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Chance, Randomness, and the Fault in Our Stars
The Elusive Nature of Randomness Our universe is ruled by randomness. Not that we generally acknowledge that. Most of us believe in a powerful and purposeful divine being who plans events, guides our lives, and has a mission for each of us. It’s hard for us to understand the world any other way, for our minds see patterns everywhere. We naturally create meaning out of chaos. As Leonard Mlodinow explains in his book, The Drunkard’s Walk, randomness and chance are common, yet we still imagine we can predict the future and control events that cannot be controlled. We downplay the way fortune – or misfortune – impacts our lives. [1]…
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Embracing Impermanence
Denying Impermanence Buddha taught that everything is impermanent. We get sick, we lose jobs, we lose homes, we lose loved ones, we die. Even rivers change course; mountains wear away. Nothing lasts; nothing stays the same. This is not new information. In the book of Ecclesiastes, we are warned to remember our creator “before the silver cord is snapped, and the golden bowl is broken, and the pitcher is broken at the fountain, and the wheel broken at the cistern, and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the breath returns to God who gave it.” (Ecc 12:6-7) To cope with this reality, many religious people speak…
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Wisdom to Know the Difference
Wisdom and Peace We were at the prison, leading the Recovery Church circle, when the question came up, “What do you want in life?” The young man to my right had shown himself to be inquisitive, seeking information and knowledge, asking questions, eager for education, appreciating debate. I wondered aloud if he wanted wisdom. “No,” he said, with a laugh. “I’m wise enough.” But of course. Wisdom is too often hard won. He had been through a violent childhood, betrayals and loneliness, a chronic illness, and years of incarceration. Through it all, he had come to understand much about himself, the world, and that which sustains us and tears us apart.…
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Trying Again and Again to Change
The Tragedy of Addiction When you’re around drug addicts, whether because your family members struggle with addiction, you’re an addict yourself, or you work with addicts professionally, you will eventually see people die from their addiction. Young people mostly die from accidents, such as car crashes, overdoses, or violence. A heroin addict still using in her fifties or sixties generally succumbs to years of neglect, infections, and the effects of homelessness. Drugs, especially substances like meth or alcohol, damage our brains, making rational thought difficult. It’s hard enough for someone to admit he needs to stop drinking when his mind still functions reasonably well. Years of alcohol abuse can damage a…
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Changing What We Can
God Grant Me This is the second installment of our exploration of Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer,” part of which is recited in many twelve-step groups: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Today we will explore the courage to change. Before we can change things, whether they exist within us or in the world around us, we must be brave enough to acknowledge the problem. Only then can we something about it. Yet is it so hard to accept that change is necessary? As I glance at the morning newspaper and…
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Peace Amid Chaos and Change
Living through the Storm From today’s heavy rain, we see that, at least in the Portland area, the change of seasons has arrived. The fall crispness we enjoyed last week has turned to wet skies, soaked skins, and shriveling gardens. In our personal lives, we face change every day as we grow older, as setbacks occur, as loved ones die and children are born. Perhaps, like I do, you find that life buffets you at times like the winds of a storm. You may feel weighed down by news stories and Facebook feeds that catalogue the suffering of strangers from around the world. Perhaps the divisiveness of our country leaves…