• Reflections on Holidays

    The Influence of Fathers

    Orlando and Fathers Last week, the big news was the Brock Turner rape. This week it’s Orlando, where Omar Mateen killed 49 men and women in a gay nightclub on Hispanic night. At the Pulse, people who felt condemned, berated, and threatened could be themselves and still feel safe. That sense of safety was shattered. This week also includes Father’s Day, so I thought I’d take a quick look at the impact of fathers on young men who grow up to love or hate, create or destroy. The classic father is wise and caring, yet can enforce rules with gentle firmness. A good father loves and protects us, he always…

  • Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    Beauty and the Soul

    The Healing Power of Beauty Recovery is a lifelong process.  We heal one layer of sorrow, resentment, and fear, then a deeper layer begs for attention.  At times, it feels exhausting. What keeps us going when our longing overwhelm us? There is no one answer, of course.  We need many tools, but one of those tools is the experience and the creation of beauty. Our souls crave beauty.  The waving of a vine in the wind, the cerulean blue of the sky just as the sun sets, music, poetry, the softness of a baby’s cheek, the caress of the breeze.  Beauty throbs in all moments, if we can only see…

  • Courthouse adorned by statues - restorative justice is rarely found in a court room
    Political Events and Recovery

    Recovery and Restorative Justice

    Recovery and Justice In this column, I had planned to unpack what justice means in a life of recovery.  In his blog, “Selected Papers of William L. White,” White writes: “Recovery is many things, but it is at its best a platform for justice.  Recovery without justice is a strained and haunted recovery.”1 White is referring to our need to make amends for the harm we have done to others and ourselves during our addiction.  When we pile harm upon harm in our quest for oblivion or our craving for comfort, we accumulate what White calls “debt” that we must face in our recovery. The process of facing our debts,…

  • Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    Heaven, Hell, and the Meaning of Life

    Life can be tough when we don’t think there’s a point to it all. As a teenager, I was fond of Existentialism and its dreary view of human nature. I read Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit multiple times and used it, and Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot,” as inspirations for somber plays of my own. Unfortunately, I lacked the sense of humor that saved their writing. At the time, I considered myself to be a suffering artist, and I didn’t have the perspective that would let me laugh at myself. That was forty years ago. Now the memory of Sartre and Beckett is dim. Life no longer seems pointless, nor do…

  • Scripture Study

    The Mission of Epiphany

    Before I wrote this column, I did not know much about the religious celebration of Epiphany. I had some idea about the secular version of epiphanies, those sudden insights that are triggered by insignificant and every-day events that appear for no reason we can figure out. When I think of epiphanies, I think of a time I was seeing my spiritual director, and she said the word “universe.” All of a sudden, I had a vision of the universe inside her heart, and I understood the universe didn’t really have any spatial dimensions. I realized that space, and time, too, were made up in our minds. If we could get…

  • Recovery Skills

    The Freedom to Rest

    As I go to let my dog out back one morning, I notice the flicker, its head pressed against the ground in our yard. Because the dog regularly runs figure eights around our two garden plots, most of the grass has died. In some less trampled locations, spurge has taken over. Everywhere else, there is bare dirt, and the woodpecker has found something in one of those patches. If I tried harder, I could have a neater yard, even with an active dog back there. But that’s how I live, constantly navigating this tension between order and chaos. Do I proceed in a disciplined way through my list of chores…

  • Recovery Skills

    Filling that God-Shaped Hole

    Sometimes, in quiet moments, when my body is still and I am not distracted by busyness or plans, I notice a tension in my gut, a soft anxiety. Years ago, I would sometimes experience anxiety like a jack-hammer in my solar plexus, a fear that spread to my hands and made it hard to breathe. Fortunately, I no longer get that intolerable dread, but I am not a stranger to a little anxiety here and there. Especially when I meditate, I can get this squirmy feeling, like everything inside me itches, and I want to jump up and get busy doing something, anything, even cleaning the refrigerator. Yet if I…

  • Reflections on Holidays

    Fathers and Forgiveness

    Forgiveness and Coming Home While I was looking for readings about fathers for this Sunday’s Recovery Church service, I re-read the chapter on “Father” in Henry Nouwen’s book The Return of the Prodigal Son. The book is an in-depth examination of Rembrandt’s “Prodigal Son” painting. The Bible story that prompted the painting is about rejection, addiction, and jealousy; it is also about homecoming, acceptance, and eternal love. As Nouwen explores the nuances and depths of both the parable and the painting, he addresses these issues and more, including a discussion about forgiveness. Ah, yes, forgiveness. Fathers and forgiveness seem to go together. Not necessarily because our earthly fathers are so…

  • Spiritual and Emotional Themes

    Transformation

    As a gift to myself, I sat, for almost two hours, at a picnic table on Mt. Tabor, doing nothing. Douglas fir trees encircled me; dappled shade fell on the path and the field where small, white daisies bloomed amid the grass. The air was soft and warm, smelling of trees, and the lilt of birdsong spread across the canopy. I watched in awe, relished the breeze on my skin, and listened with gratitude. Because I sat still, birds came close. I could see the flick of color around the robin’s eye and the grey shading on the junco’s neck. “Click, click,” said the junco, and flew off, but the…

  • Reflections on Holidays

    Loving the Earth – and Each Other

    In the wake of the bombing at the Boston Marathon, I find the column I originally meant to write has changed. Because our next worship service falls on Earth Day this month, I thought I’d write about our need to protect the earth. Now I find myself wondering how we can learn to care for one another. Perhaps these are not exclusive themes: how we care for one another is intimately related to how we care for our earth. Years ago, I went to church with a man who was passionate about saving the Earth. In fact, he was so passionate about it that he tried to convince me I…