Understanding Emotions This column is about emotions. It’s about the importance of feeling and of knowing what we feel. When we don’t recognize our emotions, we become vulnerable to the manipulation of tyrants. When we refuse to look within ourselves at our own emotional storm, we project our evil onto women, men, and binary individuals; onto people of color, immigrants, the poor; and onto the vulnerable and the broken in general. A few days ago, seventeen more children died from gunfire, this time in a Florida high school on Valentine’s Day. So much hatred spilling out on a day of love. Such violence occurs, in part, because we refuse to…
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Resistance Revisited
Nonviolent Resistance Nonviolent resistance has been around since Jesus stood up to the Pharisees in Jerusalem, and probably before. Today, books are written about it and workshops designed to teach it. Some scholars insist that nonviolent resistance is more effective than violent resistance; others refute this. I doubt nonviolent resistance is as magical as we like to think, yet I know of no better way to orchestrate change without betraying our own values and becoming as angry, bitter, and oppressive as the regimes we stand against. Yet how do we refrain from lashing out with weapons? Cutting Ourselves Off from Our Emotions One way is to hide our emotions and…
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Human Rights and Peace
A Sunday of Peace According to a Presbyterian colleague of mine, the theme for this second Sunday of Advent is peace. By this, we might mean the absence of war or conflict. But a deeper exploration of peace would include a companionable silence, a comfortable camaraderie, a feeling of safety, a happy stillness in one’s heart. Peace is equanimity, tranquility, a sense of well-being. In Christian terms, peace is that absolute trust and rightness that comes from an abiding relationship with God. According to the Gospel of Luke, Zechariah, eight days after his son John the Baptist was born, prophesied about Jesus. He said, “By the tender mercy of God,…
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Healing from Historical Trauma
The Pain of Racism While working as a chaplain on a residential drug treatment unit, I had the opportunity to sit with a young man with white skin who had been given a roommate whose skin was dark. Having been raised to blame and reject dark-skinned people, he felt uncomfortable being close to this other man and wanted a different roommate. However, he didn’t feel he could just march up to nursing staff and make such a demand. He had at least that much understanding of social propriety. Instead, he came to me to try and process his feelings and behavior. As I invited him to focus on his emotions…
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Shame, Mass Murder, and Healing
Reeling from Another Mass Murder Again, sorrow grips our country as another gunman kills and wounds. His senseless violence leads to terror, deaths, broken bodies, broken hearts. This kind of aggression has existed from the time when Homo Sapiens and Neanderthal co-existed, and then didn’t, because our species drove to extinction a people so like us. Now we seem to be trying to extinguish one another. Have there not been enough shootings? No place is safe, anymore: not schools, shopping malls, churches, bars, or outdoor concerts. We are so violent, and so vulnerable. How do we make sense of our rage and pain? Why Do We Kill? Tonight the moon…
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Reducing Our Bias
Cognitive Bias We humans are stuck with this thing called cognitive bias. Because of the way our brains evolved, no matter how much we want to be rational and reasonable, we tend to jump to conclusions; make assumptions; judge others by the group to which they belong; change our memories; and give more weight to information that confirms, rather than challenges, our worldview. In other words, we’re full of isms and biases that our conscious mind may not even notice. This isn’t all bad, though. Cognitive biases make life easier. They speed up simple decision-making, make routine possible, and allow us respond to danger before we even realize there’s a…
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White Supremacy and Listening
The Importance of Listening Sometimes, our task is to remain silent. That is true for all of us at times. In the silence, we can listen to our hearts, to our god, to our neighbor. During this moment in our country’s history, this moment in our Unitarian Universalist denomination, we who have skin we call white are being asked to hush, to hear what others have to say, particularly those whose skins are brown as earth, or tree bark, or memories. Listening can be difficult, especially when we take it for granted that our voices are important, that our words matter, that everyone cares about what we have to say. That’s…
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Jesus, Nonviolent Resistance, and the Gospel of Mark
Jesus Heals In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus performs many healings, including one he does without even intending to. Having just returned from Garasene where he used exorcism to cure a man who had been driven mad by demons named Legion, Jesus is stopped by Jairus, a leader in the synagogue. The man throws himself at Jesus’ feet and begs him to save his twelve-year-old daughter who is dying. So Jesus goes off with Jairus. Before they can get to the girl, however, a woman who has suffered from hemorrhages for twelve years and spent all her money on physicians and their remedies only to get worse, touches Jesus’ cloak,…
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On Anger and Building a Movement
Outrage and Resistance Early in my career as a director of religious education, I developed a class I called “Outrageous” that was designed to help children and youth figure out how to turn their outrage into practical solutions, such as providing service to the homeless or writing letters to senators. Maria Harris describes a version of the curriculum in her book Teaching and Religious Imagination: An Essay in the Theology of Teaching. You start with an evening of outrageousness. Hold after a party where kids eat gooey tacos and goofy sundaes, listen to wild music, share the most outrageous things they’ve done, play silly games, and talk about crazy teachers…
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The Election and Amazing Grace
Newton the Slave Trader The theme for this week’s service is “Amazing Grace,” the hymn written by transformed slave trader, John Newton. His story is hopeful and uplifting, reminding us of the power and potential of grace. After this week’s election results, I want to believe in grace, but it has become more difficult. I will talk about that, but first I want to share Newton’s story. Newton got a job on a ship that, among other things, traded in human beings. At first, he didn’t think about the misery of the people packed into the ship’s hold, some of whom died on the journey. He joined the other crew…
