Memorial Day and Remembrance On Memorial Day, we remember. We remember war, death, and those we love. We remember the importance of community and country, the warmth of family and hearth. That which we are willing to fight for, we remember on this day. Soldiers may hope they are fighting for freedom. After all, they say that liberty is the foundation of our country. It’s what the Statue of Liberty stands for; it’s part of her name. On a bronze plaque inside the statue is the poem, “Colossus,” written by Emma Lazarus. It contains the well-known words: “Give us your tired, your poor,/ Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”…
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The Enneagram and the Mother Within
Mothers on Display We were at the playground, my children running, sliding, and swinging, when I noticed shouting. At the wading pool, a girl of about twelve or thirteen sat, her shoulders hunched, her feet in the water. Thin hair hung across her shoulders. Her knees bulged from her emaciated legs. Beside her, an obese woman chastised her for hanging out in a pool for babies, but whenever the girl tried to stand, the woman pushed her back down. As the woman recited a list of sins the girl had committed and told her she was stupid and worthless, the child stared silently at her feet. The bullying was horrifying.…
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One Little Goat and A Ram
Passover and Chad Gadya Passover has started. Candles have been lit, prayers spoken, rituals performed, songs sung, questions answered, and the misery of slavery remembered. My family never celebrated the Jewish holidays. I don’t know if Passover was part of my father’s childhood. He never told me, nor did he explain the laws or rituals or holidays of his people. He was secular and thoroughly Americanized. Perhaps that is why I seek now to understand what is and is not part of my heritage. As the story goes, my ancestors were slaves in Egypt, and God delivered them in a flurry of plagues and death. Each year, relatives I do…
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Religion, Christmas, and Reason
Honoring the Return of the Sun The winter solstice has come and gone. Even as we venture into the chill of winter, we can take comfort in knowing that today’s light will last a little longer than yesterday’s. Cultures around the world celebrate this return of the sun. In Iran, for instance, there is Yalda, a night when the people stay awake until morning to protect themselves against evil forces that are particularly strong at this time. They eat pomegranates and watermelon, and they read the poems of Hafiz. At dawn, they welcome the return of Ahura Mazda, the lord of wisdom. In the best of worlds, Yalda is a…
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Simplicity, Thanksgiving, and Gratitude
Life is a Struggle The other day I spoke with a woman who, for the last six months, has been on light duty at her job. When she first stopped working at a position that required almost constant data entry into a computer, her elbows were so inflamed with tendinitis she had to cradle her tea cup in both hands in order to lift it to her lips so she could take a sip. Although her forearm muscles have strengthened and the discomfort has lessened, she still can’t type on a keyboard. Using a mouse brings her stabbing pain. Voice-activated technology is so cumbersome, is it pretty much useless to…
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Honoring Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Arriving in a New Land This year, what in some parts of the country is still called Columbus Day, falls on October 8. I was surprised when a chaplain colleague led a short worship in which he praised the explorer, noting his determination, his courage, his indomitable spirit. He celebrated Columbus for chancing upon a country no one else had discovered before. Of course, while Columbus may have shown great courage and determination when he crossed the ocean in the primitive vessels and with the rudimentary tools they had in those days, he and his crew were not the first people to arrive in North America. We know, for example,…
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Fathers and Our Values
The Importance of Fathers Fathers are important. Not only must they help bring children into the world, but how they interact with their children appears to have much to do with how those children feel about themselves, how they behave in the world, and how successful they are at life. I say “appears,” because fathers are only one influence in a child’s life. We are also formed by our genes, other family members, media, school, friends, religious communities, and more. Nonetheless, studies do show benefits from having a father in the house, especially one who is supportive, nurturing, and fair. Mothers offer much that fathers do, but mothers and fathers…
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Memorial Day and Healing Our Souls
Giving Away Our Wealth Jesus spoke of sacrifice. For instance, as Stephen L. Carter reminds us in his book Civility, there was the time Jesus told the rich man that to get into heaven, he would have to give away all his belongings. As one might expect, the man could not bring himself to do so. From this we learn that wealth can become an idol, distracting us from our true work which, according to Carter, is to love and serve the divine. We also learn about the importance of sacrifice. We’re encouraged to give up whatever gets in the way of union with the divine. Lest we think that, because…
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Mother’s Day and Letting Go
Equanimity and Letting Go Many years ago, while working with a Buddhist spiritual director, I learned a lesson about letting go. Her son had committed suicide. When I saw her shortly afterwards, she appeared as calm and self-contained as ever. I asked how she managed to do that when her son had just died. She explained that he had struggled with depression and suicidal ideation for a long time. Sometimes, no matter what we do, people die from their diseases. It is part of life. Her main strategy for coping, however, was not so much to be philosophical about our existence, but to focus on living in the present moment.…
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Earth Day, Climate Change, and Telling New Stories
The Tale of Two Farmers In the Talmud is a story of two farmers who lived next to one another for years, yet who could not agree on which of them owned a plot of land adjacent to both their farms. One of the men claimed his grandparents had built their home there, so he had rights to it. The other insisted that since his grandparents had planted fig trees on that land, he should get it. Unable to resolve their disagreement, they took their case to the rabbi. The rabbi listened to them. He pulled at his beard and considered the problem. Yet, he, too, was unable to decide…