Making the Best of the New Year
It’s the new year, and many of us are making resolutions. There’s a lot online about how to best stick with whatever goal you’ve set for yourself this year, and there’s nothing wrong with trying to improve oneself. The paradox is, however, that’s it often easier to change if, instead of pushing ahead with gritted teeth and a relentless determination, if we do so with acceptance and gentleness.
Pema Chödrön talks about this in her book Start Where You Are. She suggests we look deeply at who we are and accept ourselves without judgment. Then we can move forward. If we refuse to look honestly at our inner being, if we run away from who we are, we’re not really present. We’re not fully alive. That makes it hard for us to awaken into the truth of self and reality, and it creates suffering for us and others. It makes it hard for us to change.
Changing by not trying to change is what we’re talking about here, and it’s not easy. Chödrön uses an entire book to explain what she means by starting where we are. She says we need to realize that everything is illusion, including our ideas about reality. She suggests we let go of everything we believe, while at the same time, continuing to be and live and become and know that life is paradox.
It’s complex, but it’s also very simple. She writes, “We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.” [1]. Awakeness could happen for any of us at any time. That’s because we already have within us everything we need to wake up. If we look inside, we will find a treasure.
The Path of Awakeness
Yet to get there, we need to cultivate the possibility of awakeness. Many religions have developed paths to enlightenment. In her book, Chödrön describes two forms of meditation and lists specific dharma teachings we can reflect on. Getting her book, following her path, might be a good resolution for this year. There are many paths, many ways to truth, freedom, and kindness. Find the one that fits for you. Remember, thought, whatever way you choose to become your best self, the treasure is already within you. The secret to finding it is to practice nonjudgment.
That means, that when we make mistakes, we have the opportunity to start over. If we are awake enough to notice who we are and what we’ve done, we can begin to change. Unless we notice that we are thinking and making up stories and believing them, unless we see this, we cannot free ourselves. We cannot start again.
But if we don’t notice for a long time, that’s okay, too. No reason to beat ourselves up about that, either. The moment we notice that we have not noticed, we can start again. However many times we need to.
May your new year be full of treasure, forgiveness, and starting again.
In faith and fondness,
Barbara
Credits
- Chödrön, Pema, Start Where You Are, Boulder, CO: Shambhala, 2018, 1.
Copyright © 2022 Barbara E. Stevens. All Rights Reserved.